Oh My Words

"It’s always surprising to me how many young women think they have to be perfect. I rarely meet a young man who doesn’t think he already is."

-  Hillary Clinton speaking at Simmons Leadership Conference (via femininefreak)

(via unusualjourney)

Aug 13
Aug 13

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

(Source: bellecs, via aabaezaa)

Aug 13

(Source: al-grave, via daddyfuckedme)

hollywoodassistants:

Aug 13
WHEN I TRY TO CHEER UP A FRIEND
Aug 12

blackgirlwhiteboylove:

hermionegranger:

Real Time with Bill Maher: 6.6.14 — Anthony Weiner, Jim Geraghety, Nicolle Wallace

Damn shame.

(via sexyisntstupid)

Aug 5

eyareilrahc:

See this… this is how it’s done.

No “you don’t look chunky, you look beautiful.”
No “you don’t look chunky” at all.

Just complete acceptance. Yeah, you look how you do, and how you look is beautiful. Mama gets it.

I will re blog this and all the other clips like it a million times because this is a good fuckin mom and I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK

(Source: realitytvgifs, via aabaezaa)

slaughterhouse90210:

“I am tempted to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman.” ― Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad
Aug 4

slaughterhouse90210:

“I am tempted to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman.”
― Margaret Atwood,
The Penelopiad

browngirlblues:

Women against feminism are basically just arguing that their individual lives are fine and they don’t care about what other women go through

I don’t think so…I think that—some—of them are just arguing that it’s not wrong or contrary to feminism to embrace traditional female roles or feminine ideology. Wanting to be a stay at home mom, preferring to cook, clean and raise kids, choosing to be hyper feminine, and basically anything else that even hints at the pre-feminist idea of being a woman is spat on by many feminists, which is fucking mental if you stop to think about the whole point of feminism: to allow women to be and do WHOEVER and WHATEVER they want WITHOUT being shamed or made to feel inferior because of it. I’m 300% feminist, but damn I like pink, I’d love to stay home and not work, but that doesn’t mean I think that women should spit on feminist ideals, just as feminists shouldn’t shame women for embracing feminine ones.

(via a-dreamobscene)

Aug 2

“Human beings are the only animals who have to work, and I think that is the most ridiculous thing in the world. Other animals make their livings by living, but people work like crazy, thinking that they have to in order to stay alive. The bigger the job, the greater the challenge, the more wonderful they think it is. It would be good to give up that way of thinking and live an easy, comfortable life with plenty of free time. I think that the way animals live in the tropics, stepping outside in the morning and evening to see if there is something to eat, and taking a long nap in the afternoon, must be a wonderful life. For human beings, a life of such simplicity would be possible if one worked to produce directly his daily necessities. In such a life, work is not work as people generally think of it, but simply doing what needs to be done.”
Masanobu Fukuoka


God this on so many levels. I lived in the woods for ten weeks as part of a stupid wilderness program and got nothing out of lit EXCEPT this right here^^. Gettin water and preparing good and shelter do not feel like work, they feel good and necessary and the peace that comes along with that is almost as fulfilling as the time of day when the sun sets and the sky starts getting darker and your eyes start to get heavy just from the shear force of everything around you preparing for bed and sleep and night and then when the sun rises it’s really all the hope and purpose you need. People I think have forgotten that those are really the only things we need and contrary to our cultural beliefs, truly do make us content.
Aug 2

“Human beings are the only animals who have to work, and I think that is the most ridiculous thing in the world. Other animals make their livings by living, but people work like crazy, thinking that they have to in order to stay alive. The bigger the job, the greater the challenge, the more wonderful they think it is. It would be good to give up that way of thinking and live an easy, comfortable life with plenty of free time. I think that the way animals live in the tropics, stepping outside in the morning and evening to see if there is something to eat, and taking a long nap in the afternoon, must be a wonderful life. For human beings, a life of such simplicity would be possible if one worked to produce directly his daily necessities. In such a life, work is not work as people generally think of it, but simply doing what needs to be done.”

Masanobu Fukuoka

God this on so many levels. I lived in the woods for ten weeks as part of a stupid wilderness program and got nothing out of lit EXCEPT this right here^^. Gettin water and preparing good and shelter do not feel like work, they feel good and necessary and the peace that comes along with that is almost as fulfilling as the time of day when the sun sets and the sky starts getting darker and your eyes start to get heavy just from the shear force of everything around you preparing for bed and sleep and night and then when the sun rises it’s really all the hope and purpose you need. People I think have forgotten that those are really the only things we need and contrary to our cultural beliefs, truly do make us content.

(Source: perzeve, via unusualjourney)

"You look at a star for two reasons, because it is luminous, and because it is impenetrable. You have beside you a sweeter radiance and a greater mystery, woman."

- Victor Hugo, Les Miserables (via quotes-shape-us)

Jul 23
Jul 23

(via gloomyteens)

Jul 15

Sooner or later, Cersei always gets what she wants.

Ditto

(via daddyfuckedme)

1924us:

"All great and precious things are lonely."
- John Steinbeck
Jul 15

1924us:

"All great and precious things are lonely."

- John Steinbeck

(Source: japhyr, via daddyfuckedme)

femalevillain:

the goal of my makeup use is absolutely not to look natural like my goal is to look Otherworldly and possibly from the moon

(Source: wolfcola, via hex-girlfriend)

Jul 15
Jul 15

(Source: certan, via laugh-addict)